For the last several weeks, I've been leading discussion on a story from the Old Testament when the Israelites are traveling through the desert to the Promised Land. During those 40 years, he has loved them, been patient with them, and met their needs. One of the most valuable lessons he taught them was that they can and should live their lives, daily dependent on Him. And if they live this way, He will be faithful to give them what they need, when they need it. The reason for this dependency was not so God could 'control' them. Instead, it was so he could protect His children whom He loved. He knew that if He gave them everything- if their lives were without need- then He would be forgotten and they would make terrible choices. For themselves and their children.
This morning, I went for a long walk because going for a walk or a jog is a great way for me to think. (So is cleaning- I do that when I'm really upset and need to clear my head. So if you ever stop by and my house is spotless... you know I have issues!) Anyway, as I walked I was thinking about last week's lesson. We talked about how the Israelites finally made it to the Promised Land. As they were entering, they were warned... "Do not forget the Lord" (Deuteronomy 6 and 8). They had learned valuable lessons in the desert, now they had 'arrived' and had every tool they needed to succeed in front of them... and no longer had that every day need for survival like in the desert. And guess what? Because their lives were more successful and they weren't in such desperate circumstances, they DID forget the Lord and all He had done for them in the past. They made stupid choices and suffered huge consequences- for themselves and their children and grandchildren... and it broke God's heart. (Isaiah 5)
As I kept walking, I couldn't help but think about Garrett. For the last 18 years, he's been dependent on Lou and I every day. We've given him everything he's needed every day of his life- and many times things he's wanted. But there has been no way that he could have survived without us. Now, he's living away from us. I don't know if I'd call Wheaton College the "Promised Land" (ha!)... but he's in a place now where he isn't dependent on Lou and I every day... he has every opportunity to succeed right in front of him... and he has a choice. How would I feel if- now that he is living in his land of opportunity- if he forgot Lou and I? Didn't call or come home to visit ever again and forgot all we'd done for him? It would break our hearts. I know this is a poor analogy- but magnify it and you have some idea of God's broken heart when we don't 'need' him.
I've been moping around a bit too much these last few months. My contract with Covenant School wasn't renewed and I've been job hunting. Add to that the opening of Louie's new agency, Garrett moving to Chicago to go to school and Hannah beginning her senior year and college hunting... I've been needing God a LOT. Above all else, I want to bring him glory with my life in whatever capacity that is. But I've been whining to God that I don't like all the 'unknown' and I'd like Him to please order my life neatly so I can get on with things instead of feeling so uneasy. This morning as I was walking, I feel like God spoke to my heart loud and clear. Things will unfold in the right time... but having me in a place in my life where I need to go to Him every day... is right where I need to be- Always. If I ever am at a place where everything is peachy and I don't feel a need for Him, I'm in trouble!
I'm new to facebook. I've managed to post a few things myself and read and enjoy other people's family news. But there's one thing I've noticed consistently that underlying in most people's status... a need of the day.
..."my family member is sick and I'm worried... my kids are growing up and is scares me to death... i'm just sitting on my porch alone (aka does anybody care?)... had a good time last night out with the girls- who needs 'him'?... so glad it's Friday and I get a break from this job...
It just seems like whether is't stated right out or more subtly... being in an every day place of need is actually very, very normal- and from what I'm continuing to discover, a blessed place to be!
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